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Thursday, November 09, 2006

...Dumbass 

Here we have an excerpt from the song "Sarah" by Eskimo Joe

Sarah,
Won't you tell me your name

I think her names Gretchen... moron.

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Holy Unshaven Upper Lips Batman! 

Movember has reached unfathomoble popularity this year, It used to be just this little thing a few of your moronic mates did, and now, you can't walk down the street without a moustache staring you in the face, they are quite literally TAKING MOVER!!!!
Most guys I mo are doing it, hell even the other two writers are doing it, and sweet Moses some women are doing it too! I don't mo what to do, grow a mo, or just go with my original plan and stay mo-less for this month?
Are any of these people even raising money for prostate cancer or male depression? If they aren't then whats the freaking point, other than to look like Ron Jeremy for a month.
I fear next Movember, there will be a world wide campaign that will be supported with advertising and more media attention than any other cause, but of course like at the moment, the charity side of it will become secondary to the actual task of growing the mo and before we mo it, November will be renamed Movember and it will be law to grow your mo, and not doing mo will result in the most severe punishmonts you could imogine.
So...
If you are participating in this month long horror show, please remember to raise some money for the causes you are supposedly supporting, don't just do it for the sake of it, the consequences will morph our society as we mo it.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Breast Cancer Month 

Okay, now that October (aka “breast cancer month”) is over, can we please stop packaging otherwise desirable consumer products in pink packaging?

I’ve got nothing against breast cancer research. In fact, I’m all for healthy boobs! And will generally throw change in a bucket or buy a ribbon for any flavour of cancer, or whatever the cause of the day happens to be.

Something I don’t do however, is wear pink. I don’t care if it’s a polo shirt with the collar up or the lid on a Mount Franklin bottle. If it’s pink I’m not going there.

Some people may suggest this anti pink policy is slightly homophobic. I say blokes who’re into pink are poofters!

Okay maybe that poofter bit was harsh, but wearing pink isn’t particularly masculine. No self respecting aussie bloke is going to opt for anything in pink. That extends to your newspaper, your tomato sauce bottle, and your Dove moisturiser.

So what’s a bloke to do? Shun breast cancer or look like a fairy? Sorry breast cancer, you lose.

If you disagree. If your into pink. If you think I’m being disrespectful to breast cancer. Ask yourself this; how would you feel about having a bowel cancer month with everything packaged in brown?

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