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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Angina 

I was reading through some documents today and encountered the word “angina”. I promptly burst into a riotous fit of laughter. Such is my maturity level.

“Angina” is one of the funniest words in the English language, for no other reason than that it rhymes with “vagina”. I guess it’s ironic that the word “angina” is even funnier than the word “vagina”.

Angina. Vagina. The more you think about it the funnier it gets!

So, rolling around the floor laughing at the word “Angina” it occurred to me that I didn’t really know exactly what it meant. At a guess I thought it to be a disease or infection of some sort, but was fairly uncertain. Time to consult the internet…

Google was incredibly helpful (in a practical and unfunny manner). Hit no. 1 was this, which explains exactly what it is, in all its dull glory. Chest pains caused by your heart muscle not getting enough blood, or some shit. However I was more amused that they offered pronunciation – “(an-JI-nuh or AN-juh-nuh)”. I imagine many people would be reluctant to say the word until they were totally sure the pronunciation was correct. I especially enjoyed the alternative pronunciation, for those who still remained unwilling to say “angina”. I guess it’s like the Target / Tar-jjay thing.

It also goes on to say there are three types of angina; stable, unstable, and variant. I challenge anyone to say “variant angina” three times fast.

Dictionary.com features an audio pronunciation tool which would be great fun, but I’m not paying $20 membership fee to hear my computer say “angina” …although it is very tempting.

I also visited rhymeZone.com which didn’t offer anything side-splittingly funny but I should note that “angina” and “vagina” also rhyme with “Republic of China” and “North Carolina”. (I’m sure all the poets and songwriters out there are making a note of that!)

And finally to round out my research, just for shits and giggles I checked in with Urbandictionary.com which offered the following:

1) Formally known as Angina Pectoris. A defect of coronary circulation, characterized by paroxysmal pain below the sternum.
2) An endless source of humour to 14 year old boys. - "Hey Todd, your momma told me that she has acute angina!"
3) When the Taint tears and all that is left is a hole that is the anus and vagina. - While pleasuring herself with a Louisville Slugger, she tore herself a new Angina


No.1 is boring, and No.3 is a little further than I’d planned to take it. So, No.2 is closest to the mark, but not altogether accurate as I’m in my late twenties and endlessly amused, particularly by “acute angina”. I feel it would be more accurate to say “an endless source of humour to good hearted people of all ages”

And that my friends is The Undie Run’s investigation into Angina. Thank you for listening. …I mean reading.

I knew there was a reason I stopped blogging.

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