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Thursday, April 29, 2004

The Milkshake Song 

I was just over at urban dictionary.com doing the random words thing. I got “Milkshake”

Once upon a time a milkshake was a drink, made of milk, ice-cream and flavouring. It would seem since the release of the Milkshake song, by Kelis, (you know the one; “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”) this word has attracted a lot of attention and it seems to have been decided by many that there must be a new definition that is more suitable to the theme of the song.

I guess the notion of the neighbours coming over for a drink isn’t as plausible as a que of blokes in her front garden awaiting blow jobs.

Blowjobs, while common, aren’t the only possibilities. There are a few other themes that are repeated a few times. The most common are women’s bodies and how they carry them, women’s breasts – especially when breast feeding and women’s genitals and the fluids they produce.

I don’t know what Kelis intended this stupid song or the term milkshake to mean, but a trip over to urban dictionary.com to see the possible definitions is quite a laugh. It also shows Kelis and her fans are at the very least on a similar intellectual wavelength.

Here are some of the definitions that didn’t quite fit in with the common themes

“when a girl eats too many brownies and then she jumps up and down 4 times and feels them in her belly”

“I say that a milkshake is nothing but the pelvic thrusts of an urgent antelope incognito.”

“Semen and other flavorings mixed into a fuid which someone can drink.”

“When you shake a guys nads back and forth and give him a nadshake if you will.”


Despite having read all thirty-eight of the possibilities listed, I think the weirdest and most ridiculous definition is one described to me by my younger brother. He claims a “Milkshake” is, get this – when a guy puts his donger in a milkshake (like, the drink) and his partner blows bubbles into it through the straw, which he apparently is meant to get off on.

My question, in response to this was – why wouldn’t he just use a blender?

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Win A Prize! 

We here, perched high in The Undie Run Tower are into our forth day of business and are really starting to sweat. We may have had up to two visitors at the site, although I think they were probably just me. Either way, comments are what it’s all about, and we are still on zero. (Except of course the one I made to make sure they work).

I won’t deny being disappointed with this pitiful launch, but we won’t be broken. When the going gets tough, the tough get going! And so do we!

I am therefore going to implement one of the many genius ideas I have! Here’s how it works… The first person to leave a comment wins a prize!!! I will allow the first person who leaves a comment to write their very own post. Any comment on any post, you leave it and I’ll give you the prestigious honour of being a contributor to The Undie Run. In years to come this will be a fantastic claim to fame. You will also receive a certificate you can put in your CV.

I really don’t want to go slutting around to other blogs shamelessly scabbing links so hopefully this incredible competition will encourage a bit of traffic. If I still have no comments in a couple of days, I will probably begin the scabbing.

However, I do have a few other clever ideas I may try….

I could become a spam peddler. Offer people, via email things like “Hot and Horny Teens” “Holiday Prizes” and “Free Viagra” and just link to here. Once here, the punter would be so impressed with the site that they would quickly forget about their failing libido as they quickly became engrossed in the writing genius that is The Undie Run.

Another option for getting a bit of traffic is if I go around being a prick in forums and chat rooms, and having the offended folk chase me home. Turn up at a Michael Jackson fan site, give my URL and tell everyone he’s a kiddie felching fuck-knuckle, or something along those lines.

Or I could do a real life undie run through The Pitt St Mall with www.theundierun.blogspot.com printed across my hot arse. Joe Public’s eyes would be immediately drawn to my aforementioned arse, noticing the web address and wanting to see more of the good stuff they would immediately rush home to look up the site!

Any comments on any of the above ideas would be appreciated (and could win you the competition) any of your own idea’s to drum a bit of traffic would be great too.

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Wednesday, April 28, 2004

The Controversial 400m Freestyle 

Craig Stevens has officially given his place in the 400m Freestyle at the Athens games to the much faster Ian Thorpe.

I congratulate Stevens for making such a noble and selfless sacrifice. Good on him for making a few bucks in the process too. It is however, disappointing that the media put so much pressure on him to do so.

Thorpe should be the one swimming. He is the best swimmer in the world. In the 400m freestyle, he is the world record holder and Olympic gold medallist. He has won this event every time he has swum it for over six years. He will do so again in Athens.

The real issue seems to have been missed though. The real issue is the flawed selection process. If this situation occurs again, the pressure will again be on an individual athlete to make that incredible sacrifice.

Australian Swimming has a responsibility to come up with a selection process that is fair and sees the best possible team representing Australia, which our current process evidently does not achieve.

If our selection process denies anyone with a history like Thorpe’s the right to compete, especially over such a minor technicality, there is a major problem with the process and the process needs to be reviewed. I hope Australian Swimming can wake up and smell the gold.


Everything aside, wouldn’t it be funny if Thorpe false started at Athens?!?!?

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Oh Dear! 

I don't want to throw in the towel prematurely but the fact I haven't had a single visitor yet is a little discouraging. I thought people would flock in in droves to see The Undie Run. I am worried that just writing this post is a sign of insanity. Given that no one is reading it, I am clearly talking to myself. Does that make me crazy? Who am I asking???

You can see this isolation is starting to effect me, if you have wandered in, please leave a comment... It could be the only thing that saves me!!!

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Progress 

OK, we've had some major developments here at Undie Run Central. You will notice we now have a functioning comments thingo. We can also boast a site meter, however we can't really boast the (slightly disappointing) number on it. That's Ok though its still early days, and if your reading this, things must be picking up.

The other big addition is the Links. Our links column is still a little short, and just includes a few sites that are there purely for my personal convenience. I do however encourage everyone to visit The Spin Starts Here and The Purple Vagina monologues, as these two brilliant blogs were the major inspiration for this humble (by comparison) effort.

The Spin Starts Here is by far my favorite. It is run by Caz of Melbourne. Caz and a few of her friends do an amazing job of taking the piss out of a variety of things that desperately deserve it. It's full of strong opinions and wicked writing, it's absolutely brilliant and incredibly funny.

The Purple Vagina Monologues isn't some seedy porn site. It is a pregnancy blog of JoJo, a Pommy. JoJo's account of her pregnancy is a light hearted interesting and often amusing read. She, like Caz, is a brilliant writer. She is into her 38th week, and I'm not sure if it will continue after the birth. Hope so.

I imagine I'll soon be inundated with requests to include various sites in this prestigious list, as this will no doubt become a who's who of the World Wide Web. At this early stage I can't see why we would knock anyone back (providing you'll return the favor). So if you want your site included, just let me know. But be warned, we will ditch and forget you when we reach the big time!

Stay tuned for futher developments.

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Monday, April 26, 2004

This Sucks 

I'm trying to set up this friggin blog. Not being a champion computer nerd, I'm finding it rather difficult to make it do the damn things I want it to. I would ask my army of readers (that's no doubt well into the millions by now) to leave some technical tips in the comments, but I can't set up a comments leaving thingo. So, I guess I'll have to nut it out myself. Tomorrow.

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Welcome 

Welcome to "The Undie Run", the new blog of (the soon to be legendary) Zundie.

An undie run is a sprint through a public or populated place wearing nothing but your underwear. An undie run is a revealing, shameless and immature form of self expression. I see this blog as being the written equivalent.

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